Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
