she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
