put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
