if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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