She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
