I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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