i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
