C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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