We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
