Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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