And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
