Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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