i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
