I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
