my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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