If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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