god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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