she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
