He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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