It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
