Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
