Define "chronic" masturbator.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
soo... how was my night?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize