You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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