During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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