i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
