i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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