so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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