if you like me you must not know who I am
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
