She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
No subtext here. People are naked.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
