But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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