id be glad to
I am full of burrito and curiosity
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
