there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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