it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize