i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
