I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
