I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
