and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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