I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
