the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
