...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So here I am, sexting at work.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
