The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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