Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
there's paper in my vomit.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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