Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
