pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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