I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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