Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
