i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
