How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
