How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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