Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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