I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
