they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
