nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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