Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
