We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
