At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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