I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
