everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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