My pussy is not your playground.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
