MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
