guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
