Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
