Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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